Radvent: A Journaling Project

The fabulous Ms. Young over at Finely Young forwarded me a link today that she thought I would particularly enjoy. As she's had excellent taste in bloggy goodness so far, I wasn't surprised that I adored Princess Lasertron right away.

I was also hooked on an idea.

I was inspired by her Radvent blogging project for a number of reasons. Of the many, I was most drawn to the idea because it's so fitting to reflect and find thanks in the year that's passed before entering into the new. Since we're so very close to the holidays - I keep watching the countdown and gnawing my fingernails as I know that we're not near done shopping - I thought it might be appropriate to start expressing my sincere thanks for all the wonderful things that happened in the last year. What better way than to hop on the Radvent train and participate in my own way.

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WE ALL GET AS MANY BEGINNINGS AS WE NEED.

WE CAN START OVER. GIVE UP.

START OVER. GIVE UP. START OVER. GIVE UP. START OVER. GIVE UP.

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When I think of a new beginning, I think of Shannon.

When I think of Shannon, I think of starting over.

When I think of starting over, I think of a blustery February evening in 2009. I think of my girlfriends and I taking advantage of the men our lives via their universal single weakness (beer) and offering to buy them at least one round if they agreed to accompany us out of the house. We all had cabin fever and a desperate need to share space with numerous strangers, the sounds of bad karaoke and the stale ordor cigarette smoke. It was the midst of winter. We were antsy.

It was here that I bought my future husband a Pabst Blue Ribbon (you read that correctly) and sat cramped next to him on a bar stool mocking a poor sap across the bar who looked like a retirement-aged member of the Jersey Shore cast. Monochromatic outfit. Slicked back hair. A bit of gold bling surrounding his groomed chest hair. I'm pretty sure Shannon had a man-crush on him. I might have had one, too.

But he's not what I remember, really.

What I remember is the rush of excitement I felt that night. Possibility existed. It stretched in front of me for what seemed like miles. For the first time in a long, long time I felt like there might be more in store than wasted time or a broken promise.

I remember the flush in my cheeks. I remember the way my perfume failed to overpower the smoke that hung thick like fog in the air. I remember being certain that he could hear my heart pounding a thousand miles an hour over the shrillness of the local karaoke patrons.

I remember taking the first steps into starting over that evening. I gave up on my old life, and I started a new one. Give up. Start over. Give up. Give in. Start over. Start fresh.

I remember Shannon. I remember our beginning.